Lao Sue

(Any musicians out there who feel inspired to put this to song are enthusiastically invited to do so. Make any changes to the lyrics you like.)

Well they met on Craigslist after decades of failure
He moved out of his dad’s house and into her trailer
He’d been a virgin for forty-nine years
She had an eye patch and a heart full of tears

They started laughing and loving, asking questions in turns
She showed him her implants and cigarette burns
He showed her the pills he took to silence the screams
They started building a paradise out of old rusty dreams

Come on take my hand, 
it ain’t too little too late
I just thank god you’re here, 
that was a hell of a wait
Now you with your nunchucks 
and I with my axe
We will take on all comers,
we will fight back to back

He knew karate, she knew kung fu
They were totally clueless, they knew just what to do
Beating up bad guys and conjuring spells
Weaving all kinds of heaven from the boneyards of hell

One day she told him, "Get out while ya can,
My demons are ugly, there's blood on my hands
I been stretched out and ruined through decades of pain
You’d best pack your bags now and be on your way”

He told her “You’re beautiful just as you are
Your body, your nightmares, your sins and your scars
I know you know this ain’t no summer fling
You might be missing some fingers but you can still wear my ring"

Come on take my hand, 
it ain’t too little too late
I just thank god you’re here, 
that was a hell of a wait
Now you with your nunchucks 
and I with my axe
We will take on all comers,
we will fight back to back

He knew karate, she knew kung fu
He taught her nunchucks, she taught him to screw
He found her a ring in an old raven's nest
She showed him the cross on her pregnancy test

Well summer cooled over and turned into spring
He made tiny nunchucks out of rattles and string
Baby came roaring out and they named her Lao Sue
And he taught her karate, and she taught her kung fu

Come on take my hand, 
it ain’t too little too late
I just thank god you’re here, 
that was a hell of a wait
Now you with your nunchucks 
and I with my axe
We will take on all comers,
we will fight back to back

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