Listen to a reading of this article: ❖ People don't generally leave abusive relationships in egoically satisfying, Hollywood-friendly ways. I point this out because those of us who are watching the people's abusive relationship with predatory power structures and hoping for revolutionary change often tend to envision the status quo ending in an epic way that will make for a good story and let us feel good about ourselves and how right we were. And that just isn't how these things tend to go.
Caitlin, you've really hit it out of the park with this one. As a child of a mother who survived horrific abuse and as a 62 year old woman who left her husband after 19 years of abuse, I recognize that everything here is true. Yet, I STILL found myself getting into relationships that weren't healthy. I had a very messy life and several more breakups. Today, I finally found myself content with who I am without a partner. I have a loving community of friends - both male and female - and making choices that are right for me instead of looking to please someone else or avoid judgement.
Thank you for this. When I was in an abusive relationship I knew I needed to get out and I also didn't know how. I called a therapist and made an appointment and told her this. To my initial surprise, we didn't work on me leaving the relationship, we just worked on me. When I finally left, it wasn't a triumph, it was just the next step in the process of my healing; a messy, imperfect and still ongoing process.
I tell people that on July 13, 1789, French peasants were probably despairing if change would ever happen. The next day, the Bastille was stormed. Not that the French revolution changed much more than the American revolution. But change did come in its time. And it can come again. Perhaps we need to keep turning up the heat.
Excellent article and very timely. I can feel in my bones that this will not continue on much longer, (another relative term as a day with the Lord is as a 1,000 years) but what the form of our deliverance from evil will look like is completely obscured and nebulous. It feels like we are a living parable at this moment in time. So much is plainly in site yet is not seen. Contradictory nonsense pours forth endlessly, yet is not heard. We are fortunate to see and hear, yet do not have the details as to how the unraveling will all happen. Perhaps it’s to keep our own hubris out of the denouement so all glory will go where it should.
Your article got me pondering and thinking about all this, which is what good writing does. Thank you!
Lovely….and yes, the body equates the known and familiar with safety even if our situation is full of abuse/suffering.
The more we come back to the only point of contact with reality—the here now—the less our body will redirect our attention to the survival brain.
Our mental absence prompts the alarm that we may be too distracted to notice an imminent danger. Thus we return to our ancient survival programming and perceive reality through this filter. In this state we favour the known and familiar over the unknown.
Our presence—attending to the here now—reduces the domination by our ancient programming which includes the fear of the unknown.
Our deepest nature is unknowable to the mind but its presence can be felt in the body. Fear of the unknown is therefore also fear of our deepest self.
So inhabiting the Now with our attention makes us comfortable with uncertainty. We are now free to tap into that part of us that always delighted in surprises.
Last night I posted a video ( https://youtu.be/CsA5cf04t40 ) called Digging into the Data that talks about a quiet strategy for revolution, maybe like transferring some belongings to a friend's house in the meantime. And it talks about the spiritual side and all the tenderness, caring & heartbreaking stories I've found both in my personal life and online. I quote Caitlin on censorship by algorithm. But I explore the possibility that we're all people of good hearts and good minds who've been lied to. Rather than being divided over the question of vaccines, the real question is whether Federal agencies enable corruption, defined as prioritizing private gain over the public good. I suggest partnering with city council or a county supervisor to audit the data we've sent to the CDC and whether it matches the conclusions that came back. I know that's a far cry from taking to the ramparts, but I'm leaving it as a trail of breadcrumbs that there might be a way back, at some point in our collective future ;-)
Caitlin, you've really hit it out of the park with this one. As a child of a mother who survived horrific abuse and as a 62 year old woman who left her husband after 19 years of abuse, I recognize that everything here is true. Yet, I STILL found myself getting into relationships that weren't healthy. I had a very messy life and several more breakups. Today, I finally found myself content with who I am without a partner. I have a loving community of friends - both male and female - and making choices that are right for me instead of looking to please someone else or avoid judgement.
Your ability to erect signposts on a road yet paved is remarkable, and the picture you paint is really the only hopeful one possible. Thank you.
Thank you for this. When I was in an abusive relationship I knew I needed to get out and I also didn't know how. I called a therapist and made an appointment and told her this. To my initial surprise, we didn't work on me leaving the relationship, we just worked on me. When I finally left, it wasn't a triumph, it was just the next step in the process of my healing; a messy, imperfect and still ongoing process.
Worth careful reading the translation -- outstanding Brazilian politician
Inequality versus Woke BS
https://youtu.be/21i4l9T62HY
Thank you for this.
I tell people that on July 13, 1789, French peasants were probably despairing if change would ever happen. The next day, the Bastille was stormed. Not that the French revolution changed much more than the American revolution. But change did come in its time. And it can come again. Perhaps we need to keep turning up the heat.
Excellent article and very timely. I can feel in my bones that this will not continue on much longer, (another relative term as a day with the Lord is as a 1,000 years) but what the form of our deliverance from evil will look like is completely obscured and nebulous. It feels like we are a living parable at this moment in time. So much is plainly in site yet is not seen. Contradictory nonsense pours forth endlessly, yet is not heard. We are fortunate to see and hear, yet do not have the details as to how the unraveling will all happen. Perhaps it’s to keep our own hubris out of the denouement so all glory will go where it should.
Your article got me pondering and thinking about all this, which is what good writing does. Thank you!
On the other hand, you have those storied frogs who just feel the temperature rising.
Brilliant much needed perspective! Strength!
Lovely….and yes, the body equates the known and familiar with safety even if our situation is full of abuse/suffering.
The more we come back to the only point of contact with reality—the here now—the less our body will redirect our attention to the survival brain.
Our mental absence prompts the alarm that we may be too distracted to notice an imminent danger. Thus we return to our ancient survival programming and perceive reality through this filter. In this state we favour the known and familiar over the unknown.
Our presence—attending to the here now—reduces the domination by our ancient programming which includes the fear of the unknown.
Our deepest nature is unknowable to the mind but its presence can be felt in the body. Fear of the unknown is therefore also fear of our deepest self.
So inhabiting the Now with our attention makes us comfortable with uncertainty. We are now free to tap into that part of us that always delighted in surprises.
❤ Vous avez un don Caitlin, celui de faire s'arrêter de lire et de penser, réfléchir à ce que l'on viens de lire 💪
beautiful
Last night I posted a video ( https://youtu.be/CsA5cf04t40 ) called Digging into the Data that talks about a quiet strategy for revolution, maybe like transferring some belongings to a friend's house in the meantime. And it talks about the spiritual side and all the tenderness, caring & heartbreaking stories I've found both in my personal life and online. I quote Caitlin on censorship by algorithm. But I explore the possibility that we're all people of good hearts and good minds who've been lied to. Rather than being divided over the question of vaccines, the real question is whether Federal agencies enable corruption, defined as prioritizing private gain over the public good. I suggest partnering with city council or a county supervisor to audit the data we've sent to the CDC and whether it matches the conclusions that came back. I know that's a far cry from taking to the ramparts, but I'm leaving it as a trail of breadcrumbs that there might be a way back, at some point in our collective future ;-)